Good Intentions

A long, long time ago people used their word and a handshake to seal an agreement. No need for lawyers, binding contracts, 10 page documents you had to initial 84 times. A person was only as good as their word, that was the saying.

What has happened to the value of our word?

Giving our word means making a commitment, an agreement with another person, group, organization. We give it with the intention of fulfilling a promise. Some folks hold to their word like it is a rare gem, others give their word as freely as they change the channel on their TV and its value doesn't last much longer than a commercial.

Many of us give our word with the best of intentions, but don't keep our end of a bargain. It can be for reasons of economics, such as losing a job or a medical emergency. Or it can be for reasons of time.

When I was a kid, I was blessed to be born into a time of no video stores, no internet, no cell phones, no iPhones, no "i" anything. No cable, no dish satellite, no Netflix.  Watching the Wizard of Oz was a huge event, as it only came on TV once a year. Now, I breeze right by it while channel surfing, I can see it anytime. No longer rare, it has lost its spell. My spare time was spent riding horses at the race horse ranch down the street, fishing, water skiing, swimming, exploring the woods and the cemetery, playing basketball, walking around a little burg with my friends. I had time. Lots of it. No pressure at all.

After school I had practice, volleyball, softball, or basketball, depending on the season. And as I got a bit older I had jobs - a paper route, working at the local Tastee Freeze, a cabinet factory. Still, I had time for the fun things I wanted to do.

I am not sure when it became vogue to pack our lives so full every waking second, scurrying about like ants whose nest has been disturbed by a curious child with a stick. Quantity over quality.

A typical life of a child today involves piano lesson on Monday, soccer on Tuesday and Thursday with a game on Saturday, intro to French on Wednesday, photography on Saturday morning.  That is in the fall.  Then winter comes and said child decides he/she no longer is interested in piano or photography and switches those days to trumpet and tap dance lessons. Then comes spring and they switch up again.

Some might say that all these experiences help a child learn what they like and don't like. Have you ever went to the paint store to find a can of white paint? You leave feeling more confused than ever. Quantity over quality.

By filling our lives so full of scurrying to and fro, our ability to live true to our word diminishes. I see this in the various groups and activities that I have organized over the years. Before we dove into the nest of chaotic ant behavior, people joined a group that was of interest to them and they participated in that group. They attended meetings, they contributed time, energy, and ideas to make the group a living, breathing entity that gave great benefit to its members. My Grandma and Grandpa were loyal members of the Moose Lodge for decades, all the way to their deaths.

In recent years, I find people are very enthusiastic about joining a group and maybe attend one or two meetings, then, just like children who lose interest after 3 months of piano lessons, they stop attending. Maybe they join another group that peaks their interest. Or they simply do nothing. The group loses energy and eventually fades away. And no one benefits. In fact, everyone loses.

There is a special feeling that comes when we belong.

There are other kinds of good intentions, but they often have the same result - a devaluing of our word. Some mitigate this by saying "I will try to...". Which leaves the recipient dangling in mid-air.

Energy exists in the world on a budget. It moves back and forth between all things. We can give energy and we can receive energy. We can lose energy and we can generate energy. If we don't replenish our energy, we become dull and lethargic, uninterested and unmotivated. We can become sad or depressed. There are many who live their lives like this every day, giving away all their energy to another person or persons, a job, a cause, with nothing coming back. They are usually very unhappy people.

Perhaps choosing to slow our lives would be a good thing. We would then have time for cooking good healthy food, spending time with family and friends, resting in a hammock watching the clouds float by. Perhaps we should be teaching a slower way of life to our children, so they don't grow up living in a world full of good intentions.

Perhaps we should choose quality over quantity.