Thursday, March 1, 2012

Dear Ann Landers,

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a 54 year-old female and am at my wits end.  It seems our country is going to hell in a hand basket ever since you left the world and we simply have had no one to give us guidance!  Perhaps that is the reason some members of our country's conservative party have gone off the deep end.

I find myself feeling bad for Republicans and I don't know what to do.  I have never agreed with their viewpoints on most things, but the poor souls have a Presidential election coming up and the only choices they have for their ticket are some crazy fools so far right I don't think even my cousin Tony would vote for them, and he is as Republican as they get!

And it doesn't stop there, Ann, these crazy men, and I do say men, have sneaked into office and are changing laws all over the place, trying to set us back to the days of Ozzie and Harriet (no offense)!

Can you please give me some advice on how to help my ailing Republican countrymen?

Sincerely,
An Empathetic Democrat


Dear Empathetic Democrat,

Women must shove the men to the other side of the buckboard and take the reigns.  The boys have let their power go to their heads, and it is quite clear to me that you gals need to pick yourselves up by the bootstraps, hit the campaign trail, and and run for office so that we can get this mess straightened out.  After all, women hold half the vote or more, right?  You gals need to stand right up to those fellows and say, "Watch it bub!".

It might not be a bad idea for you gals to refuse to make pies until the boys pull their heads out of the mud and stop trying to legislate women's health and and push their religion onto the masses.  Every man loves pies and I think you gals ought to use pies to your political advantage.

Take this opportunity to create a support group in your community for Republicans who have no one to vote for.  Hold a bake sale. Take up a collection at church.

"Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good".

Ann Landers

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