Principles

Principles, as defined by Wikipedia, has such a complex definition that it is no wonder they are fast becoming a threatened species:

"A principle is a law or rule that has to be, or usually is to be followed, or can be desirably followed, or is an inevitable consequence of something, such as the laws observed in nature or the way that a system is constructed. The principles of such a system are understood by its users as the essential characteristics of the system, or reflecting system's designed purpose, and the effective operation or use of which would be impossible if any one of the principles was to be ignored."

Huh?

Let me try a more palatable and easy to digest definition. Principles are moral codes of conduct that we humans live by. Scruples, you might call them. The thing is each of us has our own set of principles and when we step outside those that we share, conflict ensues. Some principles are easy to follow, some require sacrifice. Once in awhile a situation falls into the twilight zone and we don't know what to do.

Let's explore. Get a piece of paper and answer the following questions:

A. You hand the cashier $45.81 for the groceries you just purchased. When you get home you discover that she did not charge you for an $8.99 bottle of laundry detergent. Do you:
     a) Chalk it up as your lucky day?
     b) Take the bottle and the receipt and go back to the store to square up?
     c) Tell yourself all the reasons you are entitled to keep the product for free?
     d) Pray a prayer of gratitude for the opportunity to make it right?

B. You are in a Chinese restaurant eating with friends. You pay your bill and as you are leaving you walk through an entry way that has boxes of tea for sale. You see one of your friends take a box without paying for it.  Do you:
     a) Confront your friend and insist she return the box and pay for it?
     b) Tell the store owner what your friend did?
     c) Take a box in to the restaurant, pay for it, then return the box to its place?
     d)  Pray for healing of all concerned and keep silent?

C.  You have spent several years working with individuals from a cultural or ethnic group on the fringes of mainstream culture. You suspect that your work with this group is affecting your ability to get grant funding because of systemic discrimination. Do you:
     a)  Continue business as usual and continue working with this group and seeking funding for collaborative efforts?
     b)  Remove any references to this group in grant proposals and effectively "hide" your relationship?
     c)  Stop working with this group?
     d)  Pray for healing of all concerned and keep silent?

D. You find out one of your good friends is having an affair and is lying to you. You are also friends with the current partner/spouse. Your friend begins to bring the new lover with her when you get together. The current partner/spouse is beginning to get suspicious. The friend confesses to you and asks you to keep this information from the partner. Do you:
     a)  Tell your friend to take a hike?
     b)  Agree to the deception?
     c)  Tell the current partner/spouse, who is also your friend?
     d)  Pray for healing of all concerned and stay silent?

Now, go back and reverse the situation. Place yourself in the position of the clerk, the restaurant owner, a member of the fringe group, your friends. How does the situation change when you look at it from their point of view. Would you select a different answer?

Each of us lives by a set of principles that we have formed and shaped over the years. These principles were influenced by our families, early life experiences, by the religion we were brought up in, even the media. Some folks have strong principles, some seem to have little to none. But why have principles at all? Why not just travel through life and fill our own wants and needs? Because we are part of the whole. The human family, community, city, state, country, Tribe, village, world. We are connected to one another on so many levels, and to act as if we are alone will cause the great web of human society to unravel.

We are all on a journey through this life seeking happiness. Living with intention and purpose is a way to express and share love with the world around us. It is a path towards harmony within, which then spreads to those around us.

Living with principles helps to heal the suffering of the world. Instead of taking we are giving. And this strengthens community because we are spreading good energy and kindness to others. We each take responsibility for ourselves and remove blame from the equation. Blame is a state of mind which can do no good. I love these words from Thich Nhat Hanh:

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.”

Living with principles, with intention, in the present, with no blame but instead a desire to understand one another. I like that. Maybe there is hope for us after all.