Detasseling - A Midwestern Rite of Passage

Driving through the countryside today, I watched as the Imperial Crop Walkers made their way through the fields detasseling corn. Straight out of Star Wars, these large mechanical monstrosities have giant tires that lift the guts of the beast above the corn plants, allowing their jaws of death to rip the tassels from the poor lowly corn plants below.

According to Wikipedia, detasseling corn is removing the pollen-producing flowers, the tassel, from the tops of corn plants and placing them on the ground. It is a form of pollination control employed to cross-breed, or hybridize, two varieties of corn. Basically, it prevents a corn plant from self-pollinating.

Back when I was a kid, we did this. By we I mean the teen workforce in our village. It was hot dirty work I was told (I opted for a trailer factory job), and one that was not on the top 10 list of best places to work (why I opted for a trailer factory job). But I know that the kids who went to the fields grew up knowing what a hard day's work was all about. It was a rite of passage. But then came the Crop Walkers.

Developed in the 1970's (when I was a teenager), the machines replaced the teens. Apparently, it was becoming more difficult to convince the restless youth to spend their summers in the corn fields, so with a dwindling teen work force, the Crop Walkers were created. Necessity is the mother of invention so they say.

The Imperial Crop Walkers are not able to detassel all the corn so there are still human beings required to finish the job. Some are teens, but nowadays most are migrant workers.

I have a hunch that the demise of the teen detasseling rite of passage is responsible for an increase in rabble- rousing among the younger sector of our population. No teen could do anything but eat and sleep after a long day in the field. So I vote for calling in Luke Skywalker, Princess Leah, Chewy, and Hans Solo and have them blast the Imperial Crop Walkers to smithereens. Let the young folks build some character and muscles out in the fields again. Then, in 20 or 30 years when they are the leaders of this land, they will remember what a hard day's work is all about.