Kitten in the Tree

I was unloading several boxes of canning jars from the back of my Jeep today when I heard a meow. Then another, then another. I looked around but didn't see anything. I heard a few more meows, took a last glance, and carried my load into the house.

After getting things put away, I sat down in my recliner for a rest, something Grandma taught me. I noticed a Pedestrian stop on the sidewalk and then look curiously up into a tree. He tilted his head this way and that, much like my beagle does. A step to the side, back again, forward two more steps. Finally shaking his head, Pedestrian walked on. OK, my curiosity was piqued.

I grabbed my cup of coffee and walked to where Pedestrian had stopped. "Meow, meow, meow," called the cat. I could not tell where the sound was coming from. I walked up and down the sidewalk, cocked my head to one side and listened. "Meow." I finally gave up and went to the neighbor's door.

Knock, knock, knock. Blondie answered.

"Do you hear a cat?" I asked.

"Yeah, it has been up there in that tree since nine this morning. I tried to get it to come down but it just went up higher," she said. It was 96 degrees F at that moment, which was precisely four o'clock in the afternoon. All day? The cat was in the tree all day? No water, no litter box, no food? What the hell was she thinking? This is precisely why I don't carry a concealed weapon.

I went home and fretted. The cat was obviously a teenager. And it was over forty feet up. I remembered seeing our mighty firefighters saving cats from trees on TV when I was a kid. So I called the Fire Department. I was greeted by an answering machine. I left a message, but no one returned my call. I then dialed the Humane Society. No, they don't rescue animals. Try Animal Control. I pushed the buttons. "Select one for English..." the phone tree started. I hate those things. Finally, I reached a Human. "We don't rescue cats out of trees. Neither does the Fire Department. You could call Trapper Man," the Human said. Trapper Man. Great.

So I called Trapper Man. Sure, he could come out and get the cat. Do I want to keep the cat or should he take it to Animal Control? "I don't know," I replied. I would need to do some research on that. He said he had another appointment and then would be over. Oh, and it would be $60. Ouch. I claimed hardship and he said I could have the senior citizen discount of $48. In some circles I am a senior citizen. I said OK. What else could I do?

I went back to Blondie's house and informed her brother that we would be attempting a cat rescue from their yard.

The two hours I had to wait were grueling. I imagined the cat shriveling up from heat exhaustion or exploding from holding it too long. I researched how to treat feline dehydration and learned I needed to get Pediolyte. But I couldn't leave! I kept looking at the grass under the tree, half expecting to see the cat impaled on the dead, dry, stems, having fallen to its death while trying to walk on swinging tree limbs in a dehydrated stupor.

Finally, Trapper Man came.  He brought his teenage daughter, and they attempted to get the cat down using an extension ladder, my 15 foot long push pole, and a nine foot extension pole with a noose at the end duct-taped on the push pole . A snare, he called it. It won't be pretty when the cat comes down, but it will survive. I cringed. I prayed. He told stories of snaring coyotes and raccoons and opossums. Gasp! He said the cat would be using one of its nine lives. Oh God. What if it already used eight!

Soon, the neighbors started to gather and we eventually had about a half dozen kids and adults meowing to the cat, calling to it, whistling to it. I got a very large blanket and had all the kids grab an edge. Remember playing parachute? Who knew how practical that game would be!  We positioned the kids directly under the cat, who had climbed another ten feet up. If the cat should fall, we were there to catch it. But it didn't. Cat made herself comfortable and just stared at us.

After two hours, we gave up. Cat kept climbing higher. We needed a bucket truck. Trapper Man didn't want any money but I gave him twenty bucks for his efforts.

The cat is still up in the tree. I am still watching the grass. Stay tuned.