It's Time to Take Arms

On April 28th, women and their supporters (bras, girls, children, and sensible men) will be gathering all across the nation at the Unite Against the War on Women rallies to denounce the recent political attack on women's rights. Our rally will be held here in Lansing, Michigan at the Capitol from 10 until 2 pm, at which I will be singing the powerful song "I am a Woman Here on Planet Earth" by the wonderful Ruth Pelham. Check out the Unitewomen.org website to find a rally near you and then take all your friends and add your voice to the chorus. 

No more clicking "like" on Facebook. It is time to take up arms. Michele Obama arms.

Sisters, if we want to take back our power we have to stop giving it away, plain and simple. The first step is to work on our arms. Hey, it works! Look at all the posters and displays of bravado where women and men are posturing by flexing their biceps. "Wow, oooohhhhh, aaaahhhhhh" people will say admiringly. The flexors of said muscles are given new found respect and admiration. They feel strong and powerful. They pick up broken down garbage trucks from crowded intersections to free up traffic jams. They stop cars so elderly folks pushing shopping carts can cross the street safely.  And they silence the cat callers with one threatening glance.

How do we take up Michelle Obama arms? Tricep pushdowns and hammer curls, that's how. Three sets of as many tricep pushdowns as you can stand followed by 15 reps of hammer curls. Or, if that is too much work for you, do some pushups everyday. I believe if we have strong, beautifully sculpted arms we will be unstoppable.

No more limp wristed handshakes. Grab the offered hand firmly, pull toward you, then bump shoulders. Show you are a force to be reckoned with! No more wimpy chips!

If we don't get out and fight for our rights, we have no business complaining about them being taken away. Are you going to stand by and wait for legislation that makes it a crime to NOT wear a pushup bra? Or for a new law banning women from the work place if they have children at home? Or outlawing divorce unless the man wants it? These things may sound absurd, but so did the recent wave of legislation just a year ago, right? This is a patriarchal power grab sisters, we need to flex our Michelle Obama arms and push back HARD.

Our female ancestors fought hard for our rights to vote, own property, have the right to choose, and so much more. Sisters, we must follow in their footsteps and continue to fight toward equality, which just to type this makes my blood boil! No one should have to fight for equality. It is a birth right.

So women, drop down and give me 20 and take up arms! This is war! If you need motivation, here is a list of MoveOn.org's Top Ten. I'll see you on the 28th!

"Top 10 Shocking Attacks from the GOP's War on Women

1) Republicans not only want to reduce women's access to abortion care, they're actually trying to redefine rape. After a major backlash, they promised to stop. But they haven't yet. Shocker.

2) A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to "accuser." But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain "victims."

3) In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder a doctor who provides abortion care. (Yep, for real.)

4) Republicans want to cut nearly a billion dollars of food and other aid to low-income pregnant women, mothers, babies, and kids. 

5) In Congress, Republicans have a bill that would let hospitals allow a woman to die rather than perform an abortion necessary to save her life.

6) Maryland Republicans ended all county money for a low-income kids' preschool program. Why? No need, they said. Women should really be home with the kids, not out working.

7) And at the federal level, Republicans want to cut that same program, Head Start, by $1 billion. That means over 200,000 kids could lose their spots in preschool.

8) Two-thirds of the elderly poor are women, and Republicans are taking aim at them too. A spending bill would cut funding for employment services, meals, and housing for senior citizens.

9) Congress just voted for a Republican amendment to cut all federal funding from Planned Parenthood health centers, one of the most trusted providers of basic health care and family planning in our country.

10) And if that wasn't enough, Republicans are pushing to eliminate all funds for the only federal family planning program. (For humans. But Republican Dan Burton has a bill to provide contraception for wild horses. You can't make this stuff up)."