Why Are You Silent With Me?

There is something very curious I have been observing lately. No blame here, just observation, OK?

Anyone who knows me can tell you I am pretty sensitive to others. I want everyone who interacts with me to know I see them. I notice when they are happy or down, sick or distracted. I care and and I ask what is wrong, are they OK?

I never came out as a lesbian. I just always was, ever since I was born. Never a doubt in my mind. I didn't think there was anything wrong with me, no more than the fact I had two legs and two arms. It was just who I was. But everyone else seemed to have a problem with it. I am not sure why. But they did. I figured it was their problem. In my eyes I was just fine.

So here is the curious thing I have been observing lately. Everyone in my life, whether it be friends, coworkers, acquaintances, family members (except for my sister Diann), has remained silent on the fact that I legally cannot get married. The Supreme Court is hearing two cases that may have one of the biggest impacts on my life, something I never dreamed would happen, and no one has said a word to me. Most all of the people in my life are straight. Perhaps they can't even imagine what it would be like to be denied the basic right to get married, have a wedding, know that your beloved will be taken care of when you die, or to be able to adopt children. Perhaps they take it for granted.

My sister Diann supports me 100%. But no one else has called or written and said, "God I can't imagine what it must feel like to have society so blatantly discriminate against you". Or, "Barb, I want you to know I am thinking of you and am praying that the Supreme Court will make the right decision so you can enjoy the same rights as me".

Why is that?

Only a few people know what I have gone through in my life because of my orientation. I am glad that times are changing and that today many gay and lesbian youth have support groups to help them grow up in a healthier environment. I know that my courage to always be myself, along with thousands of others, has helped bring us to this day. Even though life has been hard at times, I wouldn't change a thing.

I wonder if they know that I sit in front of the TV and cry as I hear the President of the United States say he supports me. I hear many people on TV say they support me. I never had support from anyone. Ever. And today, the President stands with me. Isn't that something?

So I watch the TV all the time, I want to hear those words over and over and over. "In support of gay marriage...equality...life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...". I can't hear it enough. It is beginning to heal all those deep wounds inflicted by insensitive bigots over the years.  But why do I only hear it from the TV? What about the people in my life? Do I dare think that they don't support my right to happiness? I know that is the case for some. How do I deal with that? How can you accept someone into your heart who thinks of you as less than?

I know when I am with people who are oppressed, I see them and I let them know I won't stand for it in anyway shape or form. And I have dedicated my life to creating change and equality for all people and beings. It is not an abstract concept. It is right there in front of me. I cannot ignore it. I can't do anything but try to change it because it is the fair and right thing to do.

I am oppressed and discriminated against by the laws of the State of Michigan and the US Government. Did you ever notice?