From the Mouths of Babes

I have a love hate relationship with my neighborhood. I love the diversity, the older folks, the park behind my house. I really don't love my crazy neighbors, the ones who make life miserable for the rest of us. We have had some challenges this year that has finally prompted me to start whatever process I have to do to move to a safer, quieter, more sane area.

There are two little girls that live across the street, beautiful blonde-haired blue-eyed princesses. One even wears an impressively sparkly tiara. The girls ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk day after day after day. They have grown up in that house, well, as grown up as they can be at age seven or so.

The girls discovered a paper wasp nest hanging from a tree and have been totally intrigued, riding their bikes under it then sharply turning around screaming "the Queen is out the Queen is out!!!" and racing back home.

Over the weekend I saw the two little girls plus their little female cousin and a couple of high school girls approach the nest. I figured the princess and the pea were going to show the older girls their discovery.

Was I wrong.

Before I knew it all five had picked up rocks and were winding up for the pitch. I thought only boys did this kind of thing.

"Knock it OFF!" I yelled, just in the nick of time. I began my lecture from across the street and they sulked back to their house. It wasn't long before I heard "the Queen is out the Queen is out!" and saw them tearing back down the sidewalk to their homes. I had visions of wasp formations zooming out of the nest, stinging the shit out of the girls. "It would serve them right," I thought.

I grumbled about those kids the rest of the weekend, along with my complaints about the rest of the dweebs I share this street with. In my mind they grew into rats, blond haired blue-eyed rats. Stupid girls acting like stupid boys trying to kill yet another helpless little bunch of creatures.

Tonight I went to check my bees out at a farm, and when I pulled in my driveway up rode the one without the tiara.

"Are you the lady that yelled at us the other day?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied, waiting for her smart ass remarks to start flying.

"Thank you" she said.

Huh?

Thank you?

Not, "You're a mean old lady and we're gonna smash your tomatoes!"

She said thank you. A seven year old.

I told them I was afraid they would get stung. I asked if they wanted to learn about the wasps. She said she loved nature and wanted to learn all about them. So I told her. Soon Princess arrived, then they called over the little cousin. Question after question poured out of their little blonde mouths.

"If a possum or raccoon is in my backyard will they kill our dogs?"

"Do you know about every kind of animal in the whole world?"

"I found a bug with red legs and a red body, and it was real big. What is it?"

"I found a green caterpillar and gave it leaves and it turned into a butterfly and it was so cool!"

"I want to learn about Moose."

And on and on they chattered.

I went back into the house feeling like a bigger asshole than my neighbors. Lord it's hard to be humble when you are ALMOST perfect in every way.

After I put my things away, I went to the basement and searched my nature library. There, on the top shelf, was my collection of Golden Nature Guides. Reptiles and Amphibians. Birds. Insects. Trees. Butterflies. One by one I pulled them down, blew the dust off, and went to find my new friends.

The Fear of Nature or What We Really Need to be Scared Of

I NEVER watch the news on TV. Damn if it wasn't right there when I turned on the television this morning. A story on ticks and Rocky Mt. Spotted Fever. They were making a huge deal of the fact there were 2000 cases of it in the US last year. The "expert" said before you go outside, you should spray yourself with insect repellent that contains DEET (never mind all the health implications associated with that use), wear long pants, long sleeves, and tuck your pant legs into your socks. Right. All this on a 90 degree summer day. 2000 cases out of 3,800,000 people in the US. That is 1 in 1900 chance of getting the Fever. There is a 1 in 3000 chance of being struck by lightening, for comparison.

My insurance agent told me the association where her business is voted to spray chemicals on the lawn to kill ticks (and a whole lot of other creatures) because one person saw a tick on the floor of the dentist's office there. Seriously!

When I worked in the field as a biologist, I had ticks on a regular basis. My record was 14 in one day. No big deal. They were like mosquitoes, just part of being outdoors. I had numerous tick bites and never contracted Lyme's disease, never got Rocky Mt. Spotted Fever.

One of my co-workers was bitten by a mosquito on her eyelid and she picked at it until it got infected. She went in and got tested for West Nile Virus.

Paranoia.

This is yet another symptom of people being removed from Nature and thus unfamiliar/uncomfortable with things that are common place if you spend anytime outdoors. There is a beautiful paper wasp nest in a tree across the street. Of course the neighbor guys (it is always the guys) informed me (with a graduate degree specializing in insects) how dangerous they are and that they will fly out and chase you down and that they can kill animals. They gloat about how many of these nests and wasps they have destroyed.

Mind you the only reason those or any of the other stinging insects would attack anyone is if you disturb their nest or harass them.

I heard a story on the radio the other day about a man who chased another man down because he had broken into his home. He then proceeded to shoot him dead.

Who do we really have to fear?